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the now:

Whenever I hit a bump on the road in life, I would feel stuck. I feel like I can't breathe. I feel a little bit...no...FREAKING CRAZY!! My summer break started almost a month ago and during this period I did some soul searching. I bought and read books on varies subjects and researched frequently online. I even found some great information on how to control my anxiety problems without pills. I just don't know why I always make that "little bump on the road" into this gigantic monster from hell. It paralyzes my thoughts...my life. As I am typing this (and biting the skin off my fingers) I am going through this feeling of fear and hopelessness. It gets a bit lonely too, at some point very lonely. Sometimes I think going to college is the worst decision I made in my life. I put so much effort, love and hard work into it but in return it caused me stress and frustration. Which force me many times into the state of depression. I didn't have much confidence to begin with and now I have none in myself. I had so much dreams and motivations but college seems to have a way to crush them out with one hit. I can confidently say that college is one of the worst experience in my life.

the future:

Almost one year from today I (might) graduate college. Where I am able to break out of that prison that held my soul hostage for the pass half a decade. I can finally be fearless then it made me realized, "Now what??" My mind became scrambled eggs because of college. I can't think or even draw something (for myself) I enjoy anymore. I have terrible carpal tunnel, "Now what??" Even if I did find a job and get paid, will I enjoy it or hate it as much I hated college?! What do I do then??

n beyond ??:

My fear as a child was to not do what I love for living. If I am not able to find a job that makes me happy I can easily see myself picking up trash by the highway for a living or becoming a janitor.
  • Mood: Hysterical
  • Listening to: ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN / ELLIE GOULDING
  • Reading: Eating Well: Magazine
  • Watching: The Mindy Project
  • Playing: Sims 3
  • Eating: Beef Burrito
  • Drinking: Horchata

deviantID

~O-renji
Crazy Enough
Artist | Student
United States
I honestly wish I had a job...


I am so broke and sad most of the time...
I am a starving artist and it's true.

Waiting for a miracle to happen in my life...=/

My Life Goal: "Sketch like a Boss, paint like a Beast!"
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:iconartsy-ninja:
~Artsy-Ninja May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconsayhiplz:
I'm the founder of group :iconmanga-galore: and I'm here to invite you to join my group! You'd make a wonderful addition :D

Hope to hear from you soon~! :wave:
Reply
:icontheresahelmer:
*theresahelmer Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for adding me to your watch list, i am utterly flattered :heart: ~Theresa
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconzweiromen:
just wondering, is there anyway i can get a copy of naruto jd? like a digital one? I would like to read it ^^ btw nice artwork of Jack
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconitssicnarudurr:
Wow, I remember back in '07 when I first saw your artwork. It was merely breath taking. It's sad to see that it's been removed from deviantart man.
Reply
:iconfiregemini:
=FireGemini Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
please bring back your naruto pictures :iconcryforeverplz:
i know your stressed and not happy currently because of your college (journal)
but please unlockkthem ;^;;
theyr too good to be locked!
atleast do you post them somewhere else??
Reply
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